E

• Cersei Lannister, Game of Thrones
• Dwight Schrute, The Office
• Monica Geller, Friends
• Adele
• Frank Sinatra
• Henry Ford
• Hillary Clinton
• Margaret Thatcher
• George W. Bush

This is not a personality type that’s going to beat around the bush, so you can at least count on them to be authentic—albeit a bit insensitive. As Nardi explains, “With their direct language, ESTJs can come across as confrontational, argumentative, or even as steamrollers. What they think of as funny or a question to test someone’s characters, others can experience as snark or even nasty trolling.”

The only time they may have trouble communicating directly, however, is when they’re asking others for help, especially in regard to emotional issues, he notes.

• Organized
• Hard-working
• Realistic
• Authoritative
• Honest
• Reliable

• Stubborn
• High-strung
• Seemingly unemotional
• Can be traditional to a fault
• Preoccupied with social recognition
• Unromantic

The ESTJ may not be considered the most emotive or romantic personality type (in fact, Nardi says they can actually be prudish and unromantic), but they are direct, straightforward, and authentic. So what they may lack in romance, they make up for in stability and reliability.

And as board-certified clinical psychologist Kristina Hallett, Ph.D., ABPP, previously wrote for mbg, “Research has shown that having two personality types in common may make for the best combinations. Specifically, if you and your partner are the same in sensing/judging (ESTJ, ESFJ, ISTJ, ISFJ), there’s a greater than 70 percent chance of compatibility.“

To that end according to Nardi, “At first blush, we might think that some types—namely, ISTJ, ISFJ, ENTJ, and INTJ—are good fits. And yes, ESTJs do tend to pair up with these types. But with ENTJ, the relationship can be overly business-like, in an unsatisfying way, and with the other three, the ESTJ’s style may overshadow (that is, crush) their introverted partner.” He also adds that ESTPs can work well with ESTJs because they complement each other.

What ultimately matters for ESTJs in a relationship is stability, values, growth, and goals, so if they meet someone who can align with their vision, that would indicate good compatibility. And because these folks are known to be consistent and steadfast, their relationships tend to be predictable and a place of safety.

An ESTJ and an INFP are essentially the antithesis of each other, and while you can say what you want about opposites attracting, the truth is, these two may have a hard time connecting or relating to each other. As John Hackston, head of thought leadership at the Myers-Briggs Company, previously told mindbodygreen, “Because of their reserved nature, only a few people in the INFP’s inner circle will really know who they really are.”

Nardi adds that INFPs’ sensitive and idealistic nature can also make dating and intimacy a challenge. They’re known to put their partners on a pedestal, he says, which can lead to some disillusionment down the line.

Pair them with an ESTJ, and an INFP may feel hurt by ESTJ’s direct (and sometimes confrontational) nature. And the ESTJ, meanwhile, may find the INFP immature or overly sensitive.

According to Nardi, an ESTJ and INFJ matchup would be a “really challenging fit.” Further, both Hallett and therapist De-Andrea Blaylock-Johnson, LCSW, CST, previously told mbg that ESTJs may have more difficulty connecting to INFJs.

Similar to INFPs, INFJs are sensitive, which makes them supportive partners, but only when that sensitivity is reciprocated. Again, this is not an ESTJ’s strong suit, so similar problems would arise with this pair as with an ESTJ and INFP.

ESTJs thrive in leadership roles where they can organize and manage people under a common goal or initiative. According to Nardi, they’re typically drawn to managerial positions for this reason, and like to focus on having standard operating procedures, bringing order to chaotic situations, and leaning on what’s worked in the past rather than what’s possible.

In the office (and everywhere, really) they’re industrious, practical, and hard-working, and prefer direct over vague language, or a touchy-feely or wishy-washy style. “They try to apply all rules equally to everyone for fairness, but making no exceptions can also make them look unfeeling,” he notes.

They also may tend to take a band-aid approach to problems as they emerge, Nardi notes, which can result in a lot of band-aids and bureaucracy over time.

• Politician
• Real estate
• Property management
• Engineering
• Stockbroker
• Sales manager
• Judge or attorney
• Military
• Law enforcement
• Medicine

When it comes to thriving as an ESTJ, Nardi says this type benefits from more openness, kindness, and sensitivity—even if it doesn’t come natural from them. He recommends avoiding (or at least loosening the reigns) when it comes to judging or controlling other people, even if you think it’s for their own good. “They benefit to develop more empathy,” he adds.

This type can also be very humorous, he notes, but they shouldn’t lean on their jokes at the expense of others. “They must learn to tame their biting sense of humor.”

He also recommends the ESTJ prioritize nurturing some of their creative interests. “Travel the world and be open to tasting different cultures to experience the wealth and variety that life has to offer. Be the classiest person you can, and classy doesn’t mean ‘community standards,’ it means beautiful on the inside,” he adds.